Making Space
There are many things that every tired-eyed, graciously patient kindergarten teacher finds frustrating. Teaching freshly five-year-olds to sit quietly in their chairs, unwrapping a million granola bars and fruit gummies– the list could go on and on.
But one thing that never ceases to bring a kindergarten teacher to the brink of tearing out their hair is the chore of getting a class of twenty-something kindergarteners to form a line.
The problem* isn’t that they don’t know how to do it, or what their behavior should look like while in line (*note: this is actually very often a problem). The problem is that kindergarteners don’t know how to make space.
“He’s in my spot!”
“There isn’t room for me!”
“She’s standing too close and I can’t fit in the line!”
Baffled kindergarteners stare at their classmates in line calling out some variation of the complaint.
There isn’t room.
Their classmates are standing too close together, without room for the child between them to get in their spot. Two bright-eyed, cluelessly adorable kindergarteners are standing right next to each other with no idea as to how to squeeze another person between them.
They need to be explicitly taught what to do when this problem arises. The teacher has to find time out of her busy day to model what it looks like when you need to make space for someone– the student in front must step forward, the student in back has to step back a bit, thus leaving room for the person in between. You see, problem-solving does not come naturally to our youngest school children.
I like to think that I know more than a kindergartener— that I’m more mature, more learned, perhaps more well-traveled.
But the truth is, I can’t always problem-solve how to make space for myself either. I look at my life, and sigh about all the things I wish I had time, or energy, or motivation for, only to leave things the way they are and let the cycle begin again. Complacency is an old friend, and a comfortable one at that.
This past year, I did a lot of work on my mental health. Once I had ironed out many of the issues that had taken up too many square feet of headspace, I found myself with a glorious abundance of leftover room.
It felt like clearing out the spare bedroom of my house; realizing that I had space all along if I had only taken the time to throw out everything I didn’t need anymore.
Sometimes, making space looks like that. Taking things out of your lives for good– throwing them away to make room for new, even better things. Deleting social media apps that suck up too much of your joy and too much of your time. Dropping the organization that takes advantage of you and no longer serves its purpose in your life. Quitting a job that has taken all you have to give, leaving no room for anything else.
Other times, it looks a bit more like a line in a kindergarten class. Taking a step forward, or a step back, in order to make room for something equally important. Reducing the amount of time you spend watching TV in the evenings in order to save a little time for a round of cards with your family. Carving out an hour on a Saturday morning for a coffee date with people you love. Putting our phone away while waiting for your turn at the grocery store checkout and noticing the world around you.
Making space looks different for everybody. We all organize our lives to prioritize the things that matter most to us– our job, our children, our hobbies, etc. But what happens too often is that by the time we’ve mapped out our days on our agendas, we haven’t made space for the little things. The small joys.
I have found myself more conscious of the space I have in my life, and how I use it. As hard as it is, I have been more intentional with making space for the things I care about. Putting down my phone, and picking up a book. Calling people I care about on my drive home. Afternoon movie dates with myself.
And what I’ve learned, much like my little kindergarten friends, is that I have room for a lot more when I take little steps to find it.
